Man shoots off his own penis taking selfies with gun

The Valley Report

DAVE WEASEL

ST. LOUIS, MO – A 20-year-old man is in stable condition Monday afternoon after the gun he was posing naked with accidentally discharged and shot off his penis.

gun2

“We’ve never had someone shoot off their own junk before,” the police said in a statement. “There was a man who shot off his foot, a middle-schooler shot her guinea pig, and even a baby was able to shoot both his parents, but never someone’s own junk.”

“First I posed with this bad-ass look on my face,” said the man in a falsetto voice. “Then I thought the only thing girls like more than guns is men without shirts on, so I took my shirt off. To stand out from the rest of the shirtless gun-selfies, I decided to take my pants off because I read online that women like it when random guys send them pictures of their dick…

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there’s no room in being nice

Nothing is Permanent

Banks need to be torn down

Brick by brick

From the neighborhood bank

To the world bank,

And every bank in between…

Any bank owned,operated and backed

By the Morgans,Rothschild,Rockefeller

Need to set on fire

With the owners inside

Including all their bought

And paid for pseudo politicians

And all of K Street,

Let their blood flow

Into rivers and oceans

Let their heads roll

Burn in the flames-

For these leeches and tape worms

Is what is killing and draining the world

We live in their waste and defecation

For these leeches must be gutted

While their hearts beat no more

In their bile and defecation,

Only for them to be heard from

Books and museums

With all their failed ideas! !!

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