for Adi & Jennifer
a grip on the moment
that got me to now.
being alone is not loneliness,
missing fading faces
before i was birthed a zombie
after leaving the jaws of death,
memories nothing more than a
masquerade,
of not dealing with ever truly
touching another.
a mess in this darken cave,
entertained by shadows,
a grip on the moment of waking
that i have never been out
of this hallucination.
i dream to fade,
longing to be a distant memory,
so i can find the comfort
of being able to forget.
i can no longer reach out,
gonna drown in
apple ale, wine, filled syringes
derangement of shadows &
pregnant horse urine.