flogging a dead horse #1

Nothing is Permanent

The words were there

I just took my time

To find the time to say

What I wanted, and

Needed to say-

Maybe  have trounced down this

Path,

It feels new in this moment

As you are just a fading memory.

I was beyond beyond angry

When my consciousness became

Aware aware of you

Hovering over me,

And behind…

You Saying “you are always good with me”

I took you at yr word that you wanted

Nothing to do with me,

Like you said a month and 1/2 before-

You may carpertmentalize,

I stick to words…

Cause in actions

There is always the blandness of

Ambivalence-

Cause in my wanting of death

And harmony,

Whilst in the hospital I thought of you

Couldn’t focus on myself.

Now as you are fading

I want to come to you with questions,

About science,gender,life-

A part of me will always idolize you,

But…

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